Brief Stories

Brief stories written by Daniel Tiernan.

Keep The Change

“Keep the change,” I say. The cashier opens an app on her phone and transfers 44 cents to an investment account. “Do you always do [...]

2020-03-23T18:25:59-05:00March 23rd, 2020|

Ten Percent On 49th

Ferd: Would you like to start a barber shop with me? Jamie: Probably not. Ferd: Why not? Jamie: I think you’re too fat to start [...]

2020-03-18T22:52:19-05:00March 18th, 2020|

Max The Maximalist

I have 48 varieties of mustard in my fridge. I want a 49th. I have 17 children from 9 different women. I want an 18th. [...]

2020-03-14T14:21:10-05:00March 14th, 2020|

Cubicle Toast

Some people keep a coffee maker at their desk. Others have enough room to fit a mini fridge. I prefer a toaster. It's sort of [...]

2020-03-09T20:48:35-05:00March 12th, 2020|

Unfortunate Constraints

Professor: What are the constraints of your study on income inequality?Student: Probably the small sample size.Professor: Any constraints with your proposed solution?Student: Hmm...the only people who [...]

2020-02-27T23:47:49-06:00February 27th, 2020|

Kyle Forgave The Devil

The Devil made it to heaven. I heard Jesus is pretty pissed about it. Apparently, Kyle forgave The Devil. And he didn’t have to die [...]

2020-02-10T19:23:23-06:00February 10th, 2020|

Tommy Is A Bastard

My 5th grade speech was titled “Why Girls Are Dumb.” Tommy gave a speech about aspiring to become a grocer some day. What a weirdo. My [...]

2020-02-03T20:44:33-06:00February 3rd, 2020|
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