Tomorrow I’m going to interview four men over the age of fifty for an unpaid church janitor position.

I’m not a man of faith.

I don’t believe in God.

All of their resumes have misspellings.

I am a youth pastor.

Free labor is easiest to come by in the church.

I got fired from my accounting job three years ago.

It’s difficult to fool hiring managers.

It’s easy to fool senior pastors.

Service is an essential aspect of the faith.

Sweeping is easier than evangelism.

I don’t know why we can’t “hire” all four of them to do the job.

Stealing money from your company is much more complicated than babysitting fifteen-year-olds.

Church coffee is surprisingly really good.

So far, I’ve led fourteen people to Christ during my ministry career.

There are plenty of beautiful twentysomethings to date here.

Purity culture doesn’t reach everybody.

Each of these interviews are scheduled for forty-five minutes.

I’m not sure how I’m going to fill the time.

My atheist mother is very suspicious of me.

Worship songs are boring, but our musicians are pretty good.

I have my own office.

The best part of youth group is playing video games.

One of the janitor candidates has a kid in youth group.

I’m going to pick him.

I don’t know if I should come clean to my mom about this con job or if it’s more fun to keep her guessing.

The senior pastor is having an affair.

I told his wife last week.

She told me to be quiet about it.

Next week, I get to go on a paid trip to Costa Rica.

It’s a mission trip.

I’m almost certain to lead more people to Jesus.

I’m a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

But I’m not doing much harm.

And to be honest, I’m having the time of my life.