By Published On: January 21st, 2021230 words1.2 min read

1: Sit alone in the corner of your kitchen with a bottle of spicy brown mustard clenched in one fist. Squeeze slowly until you make a mess. Take a photo. Post it on Facebook. The photo is accurate and true to the event that just took place. You’ve added one fact and no lies to the ecosystem. You’ve done your part. Hopefully someone will see your photo instead of something more stupid and less true.

2: Call Mark Zuckerberg. Tell him you don’t know exactly what an algorithm is but that his is running all around the neighborhood peeing on other people’s lawns. Ask him ever so kindly to keep it under control.

3: Tell your friends about the differences between causation, correlation, and superstition.

4: Record everything all of the time in all public and private places. Give every citizen a handheld video camera to aid in the collection of footage. Oh wait…

5: Get rid of all built-in sharing functions on social media. If you want to spread lies, you’ll have to write them yourself or find the original link.

6: Seek a reasonable amount of power. If you get too much, you may start to see propaganda as a reasonable tactic to maintain and increase your status as Big-Hoo-Ha-Of-Something-Perceived-As-Important.

7: Subscribe to and remember that the joy of fiction is better than the feeling of being right.