Previously, before I got the job at Jeremy’s Cheese Emporium, back when I was jobless, getting evicted from my apartment…back then, I thought I had a dairy sensitivity.
Now I know: lactose intolerance is a lie; the concept of dairy allergies—simple, faulty propaganda.
If you eat enough cheese in a single setting, your supposed dairy sensitivity (intolerance, allergy, phobia, whatever) will go away.
That’s what I learned from Jeremy.
He guided me through the valley of the shadow of death.
And I came out the other side just fine.
Cured.
Not of a physical ailment.
But of a false indoctrination.
Jeremy’s Cheese Emporium is not an emporium. It’s not big enough to be one. It’s a small shop. Think of the smallest coffee shop you’ve ever been to. Go a little smaller. That’s us.
But it doesn’t matter.
Because we stock the rarest and tastiest cheeses.
And because we set people free.
From the lies that hold them back.
Unquantifiable dairy pleasures await.