Hello Mr. Davidson,
I regret to inform you that your application for the position of Assistant Deputy to the Chief of Staff’s Executive Assistant has been denied. You have not been selected for the first round of interviews.
Recently, we have been hearing complaints from applicants who believe their applications have been screened out by some sort of artificial intelligence software. In order to dispel such sentiments, I am preemptively informing you that no such screening software is in place.
In fact, we pride ourselves here at Apathy Goon Corporation in the substantial human capital we dedicate to individually reviewing each and every application we receive. I can assure you that an actual person read your application and used their critical thinking skills to discern that you are not skilled enough for the position you applied for. You can rest easy knowing a fair trial was held. You’re just not the man for the job.
Best Wishes,
Willard Joseph Montmuzzle
Senior VP of Human Capital
Apathy Goon Corporation