By Published On: January 17th, 2019328 words1.6 min read

This lady in the drive-through is being difficult.

I’ve been on the headset for 8 hours, minus my 24 minute unpaid break when I stuffed 2 $1.29 double cheeseburgers down my face.

“I can give you a plastic knife to cut your burger in half. Like I mentioned previously, we don’t cut burgers in half. It’s against our policy,” I say, somewhat annoyed.

She responds, “The Gravy Burger in the city always does it for me.”

Normally, I would cut it in half for her, but corporate is here today and we can’t get docked any points.

“I’m sorry ma’am. Would you still like to complete your order?”

“I’ll see you at the window,” she snappily replies, not really answering me question.

Wait a second. She sounds like somebody I know.

Is it her—the church lady who never shuts up?

One time she got ahold of the microphone before the pastor’s sermon to share an announcement about the nursery. She went on for over 20 minutes and the pastor just ended the service afterwards instead of giving his sermon.

Small churches were like that sometimes. People got away with all types of annoying shit because everybody else was too polite to tell them to screw off.

Thankfully, the kitchen gets me her sandwich quickly and I have it in the bag, ready for her by the time she gets her window down. Unfazed by the fact that she recognizes me, she lectures me on our crappy policy for at least 90 seconds before her diatribe is cut short by the frustrated customer behind her who won’t stop honking his horn.

She glances through her rearview mirror, tells me to remind my mother about her shift in the nursery next Sunday, and drives off.

I close the window, shrug my shoulders in the direction of my manager, and chuckle to myself.

Crazy church ladies’ entertainment value almost makes up for their general quality of annoyingness.