“Can you check the lobby, Dane?”

“Sure, but I’m off in 5 minutes.”

“Just run through it real quick and check the TP in the men’s bathroom.”

“Got it.”

When Dane entered the one bathroom stall, TP roll in hand, he eyes scanned from the base of the porcelain toilet to the 9-ft ceiling.

There was ketchup everywhere. And it was sticky, hardened to the floor, walls, and toilet.

Dane grabbed some paper towels and wet them down before scrubbing the stall on his hands and knees.

“Who woulda done this?” he muttered to himself.  “Fast food doesn’t pay enough for this shit.”

As he scraped and scrubbed, Dane concluded that the condiment prankster must’ve done the deed over half an hour ago. The ketchup was surprisingly difficult to remove.

After 10 minutes and getting 80% of the stall clean, Dane returned to his manager. It was 10 minutes past when he was supposed to clock out anyways.

“There’s a mess in there. I cleaned most of it, but somebody played a nasty prank. Some of the ketchup is still clinging to the walls.”

“What?”

“I saw Phil come in for a fish sandwich a while ago. Maybe he’s pissed you fired him last week.”

“I’ll check the cameras. See if he went in there…pissed enough to trash the bathroom, but not enough to miss his afternoon fish sandwich, huh?”

“I’m just glad he didn’t shit all over the place. I definitely wouldn’t of cleaned that up.”

“Dane, shut up. There’s people eating here.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot this place is a restaurant. Sometimes it feels more like a zoo.”