I’m a king but I hate crowns.
I asked my other king friends if they like their crowns. They all confirmed that they do.
I can’t find anywhere in my king manual whether or not an affinity for crowns is required for the position. Only which days wearing one is required.
I suppose I should keep my distaste for that gaudy form of headwear to myself. I wouldn’t want to offend public opinion and risk my position.
Because I do like being king.
The food is good.
The pay is great.
And since I don’t have a queen, I have my my pick of the kingdom’s best women.
I’m only half as oppressive as the last king, so my PR is in decent shape.
I really can’t complain.
But, the crown is just awful.
And there’s about 54 public events where I’m required to wear it.
I might spend my afternoon drafting up a decree. Decreeing that I don’t have to wear this crown anymore.
But, I’ll frame it right.
“King denies crown; aims to identify with peasants in a greater capacity.”
Make it look like I’m humble.
We’ll do a whole re-coronation event where I’ll be crowned with a Yankees cap.
I hope this works out.
My neck will thank me.