In the small town I live in, the only two fast food restaurants are Subway and Taco Johns.
The Subway has a patio.
Six months ago, my friend Sal and I sat on the Subway patio, inhaling our Cold Cut Combos and chocolate chunk cookies.
We saw a bear wander into town.
It walked right down the middle of main street. And stopped in front of Subway.
Sal threw a bag of Fritos at the bear.
As the bear inspected the bag, Mayor Jackie pulled up to the scene on her moped.
She pulled a firearm out of her backpack and shot the bear on-site.
I started puking up my sandwich.
Mayor Jackie didn’t get reelected.
The nature-loving populace could not abide the senseless animal cruelty.
Sal is the mayor now.
All bears are welcome.
Fritos on the house.