I died yesterday.

Turns out purgatory is real.

Who would’ve guessed the Catholics were right?

I’ve been told it’ll be eight to ten months before I’m up for the pearly gates.

I asked if “the other place” was an option.

They said only Hitler was there, and that Bill Cosby would be joining him in a bit.

When I asked if Stalin made it into heaven, they were surprised that I already knew the name of my roommate assignment.