We don’t need them.

If we deleted all the PowerPoint presentations in the world, no information would be lost. All information in a PowerPoint is a copy of information that lives somewhere else in a better format. PowerPoints are just ugly, poorly organized reference documents. If all PowerPoints were deleted right now, everyone in the universe would automatically live in a world where information would be easier to access and consume. Children would be unhindered in their pursuit of a better life than their parents.

Murder rates would drop. If you added up all the rage within the collective human spirit that is generated from PowerPoint and then subtracted that rage in an instant by deleting all the .pptx files right now, I promise there would be less murders tomorrow. Downloads of the Calm app would drop as well. Meditation teachers would be out of their jobs. Our souls would be free and we wouldn’t have to pay our monthly tax to the mindfulness industry.

Sadist office managers would need to come up with a new way to inflict evil upon their staffs. The research, planning, and organization it would take to find something as ubiquitously malicious as PowerPoint would (hopefully) take months. Without PowerPoint, these office managers wouldn’t have a common language, further confusing their quest. The resulting respite for the rest of us would immensely increase job satisfaction, productivity, peace, joy, happiness, and love.

Without PowerPoint, educational institutions would have to teach their students to make YouTube videos instead. Video writing, shooting, editing, and acting are much better skills than whatever skills you have to have to make a dumb PowerPoint. The collective ingenuity of the human species would skyrocket up and to the right—on a webpage, a television graphic, a piece of printing paper, an Instagram post, anything but a PowerPoint.

Consultants would go out of business. No one would notice. And firms could pay their own workers better instead of paying for useless decks explaining things people already know.

Jesus and Buddha and Mohammed and the Jewish Messiah Yet To Come would come back. They would say that they always believed in us. Believed we would come to our senses and end human suffering. They would explain that it was all a game. That everyone who was murdered at the hands of someone experiencing PowerPoint-induced-rage would come back to life. That the murderers would be forgiven of their sins. That the cycle of PowerPoint violence would end forever…

…but only if the office manager sadists could be exiled.

No one would so much as blink an eye if the office manager sadists were cast to their eternal homes in hell. And no one would ever save a .pptx file again.