Dear Sir,

My laundry has come back to me in a state far below the standard I deem acceptable. No doubt due to your lack of any care or regard for the fine quality of my garments.

I suppose your own low standard in life has ill prepared you to accomplish even this simple task.

You should know that I will not be requesting your laundering services in the weeks to come.

Perhaps I will return to your small establishment in a year or two to see if you have improved in any considerable way. I will consider this second chance as a charitable endeavor on my part and write the bill off on my taxes as such.

I recommend that you find a dictionary and look up a term called dryer sheets. Based on the way my clothes came back to me, it appears that you are not aware of such a thing.

Best Wishes,
An Unsatisfied Customer (almost certainly not your first)