Chris sits next to his grandfather, Arnie, in the hospital room.

Arnie is going to die soon.

“I don’t have any regrets,” says Arnie.

“No Grandpa? I’m glad to hear that,” says Chris.

Arnie goes on, “I never once in my life paid for laundry detergent. In my first apartment, after leaving my Mother’s home, there was a laundry room. We all had the same key to get in. Everybody would keep their detergent in the room. Everybody but me. I just used theirs. With so many people using the same room, you could skim off the top of all of em without anybody noticing…I never lived more than a mile away from that apartment complex. And they never changed the locks.”

“Is that your one regret Grandpa?”

“No Chris. But it is the story I want you to tell at my funeral. I’m hoping it’ll get a few laughs.”