Forget the all-too-common Learn More and Shop Now calls to action. These only take us to tired About Us pages and desperate e-commerce sites. It’s time to add some legitimate innovation to our call to action inventory. If you’re a marketer or copywriter, please steal some of these for your next email campaign. Your boss might get pissed, but I bet your click-through rate will go through the roof. I haven’t linked to anything in this list. You’ll just have to imagine the landing pages they could lead to all on your own.
1: Register For An Untimely Death
2: Steal The Credit From Your Direct Reports
3: Buy A Pancreas Today
4: Sprinkle Cherry Sprinkles On My Deathbed
5: Sign Up For COVID-19
6: Break Up With Your Pet Today
7: Add Some Dignity To Your Life
8: Convince Your Kids To Love You
9: Disseminate Misinformation Faster (alternate copy: Join Facebook)
10: Cry Yourself To Sleep
11: Run Away From Responsibilities
12: Donate Your Refund To ISIS
13: Embarrass Your Parents In 5 Easy Steps
14: Sing The Praises Of Suppertime
15: Fall In Love With Corporate America Again
16: Get Help For Your Mild To Severe Love For The Far Right
17: Translate This BS Sales Offer
18: Support Local Apathy
19: End Suburban Prosperity
20: Try Again Next Surgery
21: Increase Cash Bleeding Opportunities
22: Pick Your Own Crisis Of Conscience
23: Cope Through The Boredom Of Life
24: Shop ’Til None Of Your Payments Go To The Principle
25: Forgive Your Dad
26: Apply For Athanasia
27: Sell Your Broken Dreams
28: Hire A Homeless MBA Student
29: Trade Your Feelings For Numbers
30: Become Codependent Today
31: Forget About Injustice
32: Find Average Companionship
33: Pay The Judge Off In 3 Easy Payments
34: Join The Accredited Association Of Fascists
35: Win A Trip To The Therapist (Life Altering Trauma Fully Included In Sale Price)
36: Drop Wallet Weight
37: Curse The Day You Picked Accounting As A Major