By Published On: March 14th, 2020122 words0.6 min read

I have 48 varieties of mustard in my fridge. I want a 49th.

I have 17 children from 9 different women. I want an 18th.

For my 45th birthday I’m asking for 45 more phone chargers for my 45 phones. Two is always better than one. One is never enough.

When I was poor I had boxes and boxes of paper in my house. People give that stuff away like it’s free. One man’s trash…

Now those boxes of paper live in one of my 14 storage units. I visit one storage unit every month. And three in December.

There’s one thing I don’t own: a trash can.

Some people call me a hoarder.

My name is Max and I’m a Maximalist.